Author Shirley Henderson AKA Sher January 25, 2018
Sher on a Two step Guide to get Legally Married
Step N0 1
This guide is very simple but efficient. Disclosure, It does not mean it would be easy to execute.
As cold as it sound to choose your life partner it should not be any more complicated, or time consuming than to hire somebody for a job in this case the most important job in your life so don’t
be lazy, or procrastinate on any of the things that you will read in this article if you do not want to live in pain for few years before you realize that the person you are sleeping next to does not have respect for you etc and get a divorce. This topic is not new on my blog so go to my youtube channel, follow me, like my content, and scrawl to the different sections here at sherwork.com
We are going to use the most helpful material I could find to make the selection process
such as Warren Buffets list of things he looks on people he will hire to work for him at his companies.
“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.”- Warren Buffett
So now that you have the base on track, your man or woman has intelligence, integrity, and energy now you can trial them for a while to find the second part which is trust. Can you trust him or her?
Because the person you will marry you literally are trusting them with your life and your children lives, can you? If the answer is no, then mark your words and start from scratch but with somebody new.
I always say that the best way to change a person with bad habits is to change him/she for somebody else who does not have those negative things because bad habits die hard, if they ever do so don’t be too optimistic, and just face the reality while you can let go.
I just noticed that we have rehab centers to drop addictions but we do not have rehab centers to drop toxic people off our lives, this gives entry to a new topic so lets stay focus on the guide to select the person you might want to be legally marry with.
Step N0 2
Getting Marry is the biggest decision of your life not just personally, emotionally but financially.
Second question if this person decided to leave you. Are you Okay with losing half of the property you guys build during the marriage? To get further into this topic you will have to ask a divorce lawyer we are just walking the surface using public information find generally on the Internet and that your parents warn you about before signing. Now, here is where people start feeling week on the knees and having difficulty swallowing saliva, you know like when you making those glurping sounds and looking at the sky as if things would get easier and suddenly your partner would transform into this trust-wordy being but all you will get is what you choose, remember what you choose. Thank God we live in a world where people get marry because they want to not because they are obligated.
Remember what Confucius say is of wise man to change your mind, so it’s Okay to have cold feet if yesterday you though that person was the one but now you don’t think so. We all make mistakes, we are just humans. Specially if you are in the innocent type and people can trick you easily. So don’t be so hard on your self and just work on your reading people skills a bit more for the future. Look at all the things we talk above that you are saving your self a this point. Not all couples are horrible it could be the minority that are perfect for each other in many ways because they complement each other, they help each other grow, and they are each other best support system. You know what is your best indicator, your friends, and family they will tell you the truth, so listen, up toughen up, and do something about it such asking question like what makes you think he/she is not good for me? And so on, have the talk. I know is harder to said than done but nobody else will profit more from taking this conversations. Though love never hurt anyone and always thank them at the end. I wrote an article about being each other angels sometime we take that for granted.
Any way here is the meat and potatoes of this article, (drum roll sound effect)
From the words of Charlie Munger he said
“The highest form that civilization can reach is a seamless web of deserved trust — not much procedure, just totally reliable people correctly trusting one another. … In your own life what you want is a seamless web of deserved trust. And if your proposed marriage contract has forty-seven pages, I suggest you not enter.”- Charlie Munger
We know that one can choose to be marry under separate assets regime, or have a prenuptial agreement and those can be ways of you to work around the trust issue and still get married but that’s your call.
If you ask me I want to marry somebody that I can trust completely, or not at all period.
If you have difficulty defining trust on your self and others theres is a great book on the subject call
The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covery with Rebecca R. Merril.
But at the end of the day, trust on your gut feeling, for some reason when we humans fall in love there is no natural force that make us change our pink filter that we see our beloved one and worse if you two had entering the honey moon phase, that would be even more difficult to let go of a toxic person but hopefully you will be smart enough before you get hurt, or wise enough to choose better before hand.
So there you have it. My name is Shirley Henderson and I want to see you succeed in every area of your life, see you guys back!
This article is being sponsored by 99chart.com where you can buy Sher’s art and other cools stuff while contributing to art programs because a percentage is donated to them, remember to make use of the reward points to pay at check out. Also check out their affiliate program if you have a social media following you are an influencer and can earn 20% of the sales you make, sign up here
Source: Wesco Financial annual meeting, 2008 (quoted in Stanford Business School paper)
More about Charlie Munger and Warren Buffet