Author: Shirley Henderson AKA Sher 02/05/2016
Hi there this is Sher Henderson
and you are listening to Sher’s Podcast
This episode is brought to you by Sher’s art collection printed in t-shirts which are send to you with free shipping courtesy of sherwork.com and by the loving donations from our viewers.
Todays episode is titled
Sher on Hedonic Adaptation and Unhappiness with Mates
Regarding our partner, yes we could be happy if we’d want what we have, but the question is why we are not happy with what we have? The painless and short answer is because we do not want to.
Also, in my opinion is because we do not choose wisely. We let other senses choose for us instead of our brain when it comes to the right mate. So when we do not give our selves the time to choose correctly we end up crying and disappointments and having a week eye when somebody new comes along and our partners does not satisfies anymore because there were things in him/her that we did not like from the beginning but we overlooked for the fun of sexual distraction and the hedonic adaptation.
But when three good months, or even years have passed things that did not bothered us before starting to be of concern now like the snoring, or the scratchy voice those little things that in the beginning when feeling high on dopamine tent to go unnoticed and disguised.
This article is not about give a method to find the right partner but to suggest to give some time to know the person sufficiently to make the decision to open the heart and not get hurt, either one, we do not want anybody to get hurt. Now, that I think yes this article can give you a prerequisite to choose the right mate and it was given by Socrates “know thyself” because once we know our selves enough you will be able to know who complements you best because he/she likes the same thing that you do. That exercise will be of great value because we cannot change people, it’s impossible.
Just think on how difficult is, for oneself to change a habit, now trying to make someone change, yeah I do not think so! That’s like trying to catch the wind.
But why is important, for us to know our selves to be happy with our mate once we choose wisely? Because once you know your self enough, you realize that you have imperfections and that you are kind of difficult to deal with in many aspects, to an extend you acknowledge your degree of emotional brokenness. So when you finally, find the person who loves you and accept you, for who you are. Why would we be stupid enough to screw things out? No, is not an option.
Yes, we’ll see new people there will always be new people specially now with the increase growth in social media platforms but that is not a distraction to us anymore because we value the person we are with in such a way that he/she can trust you enough to set you free into the real or cyber world without fear of loose you and vise versa. This is a great clue of real love because as Thich Naht Han say we must love in such a way that the person who we love feels free.
So there you have it!
My name is Sher Henderson
Remember that my art collection is available in full color printed t-shirts and the shipping is free courtesy of sherwork.com thank you, for your loving donation to the blog sherwork.com and I will meet you right here on the next episode.
— Sher (@Sher_Henderson) December 23, 2015
Listening to this while writing.-Sher