Author Shirley Henderson AKA Sher July 19, 2018
Hi friends. I been on this quest to help lower the divorce rates for a long time but it looks like
I had find something great in one article that click the spark for this opinion and writing.
First, do me a favor an click link to read the mentioned article so you can fully understand the topic and return here when you are done.
If you don’t have time for that I listed the
19 Red Flags That Mean a Relationship Will Not Last
BY ROBIN ZLOTNICK
The four horsemen
They dislike each other
They don’t listen to each other
Not Comfortable around each other
Passive aggression on social media
Drug use to scape
They can’t be themselves
they can’t make each other laugh
Not popular with friends and family
One wants to have kids and the other does not
Huge expectations expecting the other to change to meet them
They hide from each other
No equal effort When they don’t want to put an equal amount of effort into the relationship
They only have sex in common
Always complaining about their mate with other people
They’re afraid of being alone They only stick together out of fear of being alone.
We all agree to this 19 reasons people give us to wanting to end the relationship, right?
We are all feeling it? Yes, cool. Let’s get this.
Did you realized that cheating was not mentioned? Is because this is the store front of the cheating that might be dealing in the underground ooooooooo that’s scary. Sorry guys! We are going to go thru this together. Just hang in there. It gets better, just keep reading.
So this is what I though, to be hones when a person starts to making arguments and fights constantly and everything is nasty is because they are looking for an excuse to break up but want to put it on the other partner. Because when you like a person you like to hang out, to eat together, to joke together he/she is the first thing you look for in the morning you want to know where the other person is and everything about their day is important to you. That simple. Is call to be in love. All right.
The problem is our Egos. Naively, we think that our mate, love us just as much as we love our selves.
There’s no remote consideration to this question. Because we are so awesome and magnificent. How would they not love us as we are, right? Well guess what? Yep, you got it! You smart.
Just take a moment to breathe and come back. You Okay? All right let’s continue.
Because we always ask, do you love me? Do you like me? Do you need me? The typical need for reassurance when something doesn’t feel right in the relationship. And those answers can be lied to, or cover by multiple sources of necessities, yes,? For example, I love you because is better than being alone, yes? I like when you pay my bills, or let me use your car, yes? I need you so I have a roll on society and people think I meet their expectations as a normal human being. But we never ask to our mate looking in the eyes saying. Do I fulfill you? Do I complete you? And to be strong enough to ask them to leave if the answer is negative. Because this questions are the point of no return for both the people involve here.
This is going to turn the fly or fight mechanism in your partner in such a way that if they lie they will be lying to them selves and no person capable of knowing the worth of their life and freedom would let that opportunity to leave you, to pass by with no harm and consequences.
But please after you ask this question don’t hold grudges. That’s why the friend zone was invented,
use it. Say please, tell me the truth we can always be friends, right?
That will open the gates of trust but also be prepared because they might take it.
The solution is honesty because as we specify our problem is not a sense of self esteem on the contrary our society like never before had their high self esteem. The proof is our social media
everybody is good looking, every body has college degrees, the latest car model, the fabulous vacation. Lack of confidence is not a problem the look at how good I am mentality is not a problem. The problem is the reverse, is that I can’t believe I am this good and you still can’t love me type of problem!
So no lack of self worth, lack of money, the lack of looks, even lack of spirituality. I think is just subjectivity people’s sexual attraction which are subjective to whatever they hearts desire is being multiplied in choices from the social media that we are exposed like never before in human history. Some truth to this reason, it could be for the stock of competition. This is a good thing let’s not blame to that. We cannot keep our mates living in a cave with no internet and social media.
I think because of social media an the big stock we can make a better choice if we chose to, or stay single if we chose to, is fine. Just don’t hurt people making them believe in something is not true.
Is the lack of honesty from the partner to just want a test ride instead of wanting to buy the car. Just be honest to people and say. Hey, I just want to test the car, they might let you but don’t come asking to marry one person you know, you’ll dump on the site of a better opportunity when it cross by.
So there you have it, I think we cover a lot today, we have a lot more territory to explore. We will continue on this quest. My name is Shirley Henderson and I want to see you succeed in every area of your life. See you guys back.
Disclosure: As always go to couples counseling when you need to. This article should not be taking as a license advice this is just a personal opinion.
This article is brought to you by 99chart. Shop for what you love at 99chart.com
There you will find my art collections in different items. Check it out
19 Red Flags That Mean a Relationship Will Not Last
I twitted about this article right after I read it.
If U R in a relationship that feels like uh! Or U R planning to exit, or enter one, U might want to read this honest article. It’ll clear your doubts fast. Note: read this in a moment of strength not when week and emotional cuz it’ll hit U hard.????B brave https://t.co/nrRXFPgrYm
— Sher (@Sher_Henderson) July 19, 2018
Wait ! Listen to another of my cover articles here in my blog